1 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,870 This is what you missed last week on Shameless. 2 00:00:09,505 --> 00:00:12,241 Well, just watch your screen. You'll get it. 3 00:00:12,608 --> 00:00:16,111 Been reading about this Purity Ball. You can re-dedicate yourself as a virgin. 4 00:00:16,245 --> 00:00:17,713 Confess your transgressions. 5 00:00:20,549 --> 00:00:22,117 I'll give you the damn car. 6 00:00:22,284 --> 00:00:24,286 You have to stand up to him, Kash. 7 00:00:26,755 --> 00:00:29,124 Put it back. Now. 8 00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:32,194 -What are you doing? -It's a fucking Snickers bar. 9 00:00:32,561 --> 00:00:34,162 Fuck. 10 00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:35,797 I bought her a house. 11 00:00:35,964 --> 00:00:38,734 You'll be living with Steve in the house he bought. 12 00:00:38,867 --> 00:00:40,903 - Show me the house. - I like you, Fiona. 13 00:00:41,069 --> 00:00:42,137 You remember Steve? 14 00:00:44,273 --> 00:00:47,175 - Yeah, how's it going? - All I need is your signature... 15 00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:49,611 ...and Monica's, and the money is all yours. 16 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:52,114 -Monica's over at Sheila's. -Who the hell's Monica? 17 00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:54,249 -Our mother. -Oh, my God. 18 00:00:54,583 --> 00:00:58,253 How about Moni sign whatever the hell it is you need, we get Liam? 19 00:00:58,587 --> 00:01:00,722 -Done. -You don't get to abandon your kids... 20 00:01:00,856 --> 00:01:03,592 ...and then show up to take your pick of the litter. 21 00:01:03,725 --> 00:01:09,064 -Roberta and I wanna start a family. -But you're here now. So I'm done. 22 00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:22,204 So how long you plan on us staying here playing house? 23 00:02:22,337 --> 00:02:26,408 Did you see those kids' faces? Did you see the way they looked at me? 24 00:02:26,775 --> 00:02:29,011 I'm not supporting six kids. 25 00:02:29,144 --> 00:02:30,746 We get the DNA results tomorrow... 26 00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:32,681 -...it'll prove Liam's not Frank's. -Shh! 27 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:36,018 That way if the shit head changes his mind, he can't take Liam. 28 00:02:36,151 --> 00:02:39,888 - Keep quiet. They're sleeping. - We are gonna make a great family. 29 00:02:40,022 --> 00:02:44,960 I'm gonna take care of you and Liam like Frank never could. 30 00:02:45,093 --> 00:02:49,965 - I am going to bed. - Possession is nine-tenths of the law. 31 00:03:07,282 --> 00:03:09,284 It's so quiet. 32 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,021 It's nice, right? 33 00:03:18,393 --> 00:03:20,028 Yeah. 34 00:03:20,829 --> 00:03:22,164 It has to be E-6... 35 00:03:22,297 --> 00:03:24,299 ...it's the only spot left big enough for a carrier. 36 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:26,935 - No, it's not. - You're lying. 37 00:03:27,069 --> 00:03:30,005 Monica didn't even bother to read to them or tuck them in. 38 00:03:30,138 --> 00:03:32,774 She probably forgot to use Liam's ass cream too. 39 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:36,311 - Yes, it is. You're cheating again. - No, I'm not. 40 00:03:36,445 --> 00:03:40,248 Carl, go back to your room. Debbie, go to sleep. School tomorrow. 41 00:03:40,382 --> 00:03:42,784 - We're almost done. - You both brush your teeth? 42 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,820 -Yes. -Yeah. 43 00:03:44,953 --> 00:03:48,256 Carl. Go. Now. 44 00:03:50,258 --> 00:03:54,429 -Night, Carl. -Night, Fiona. Love you. 45 00:03:55,063 --> 00:03:57,132 - Love you, Fiona. - Love you too. 46 00:04:06,408 --> 00:04:09,111 And no reading under the covers. 47 00:04:15,984 --> 00:04:17,853 Monica, Carl needs something from you. 48 00:04:17,986 --> 00:04:20,021 -Here. -What? What's this? 49 00:04:20,155 --> 00:04:21,823 Permission slip. 50 00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:25,494 -You're going to the aquarium. When? -Today. I need $10. 51 00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,529 -What for? -Admission fee. 52 00:04:27,863 --> 00:04:31,333 -School doesn't pay for that? -No. And he'll need money for food. 53 00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:33,969 Grab him an instant oatmeal and a Pop-Tart. 54 00:04:34,102 --> 00:04:36,938 -Makes a great lunch. -Deb, what are you doing? 55 00:04:37,072 --> 00:04:40,876 I'm looking for a poster board and markers. I'm running for re-election. 56 00:04:41,042 --> 00:04:43,245 Ian, could you help her? 57 00:04:43,378 --> 00:04:46,982 If you would tell me these things before it'd be better in the morning. 58 00:04:47,149 --> 00:04:49,217 - I need 40 bucks. - No. 59 00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:53,288 -Bob, do you have a five? -In my wallet. Where it's gonna stay. 60 00:04:53,421 --> 00:04:57,526 I need a new calculus textbook. I can get it used, only cost 20. 61 00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,928 Where are our lunches? 62 00:05:00,328 --> 00:05:01,997 Huh? 63 00:05:03,331 --> 00:05:04,566 Um... 64 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,837 What is everybody looking at? Start spreading peanut butter on bread. 65 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,472 Right. 66 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,508 So... Okay, where's the jelly? 67 00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:17,112 Hey, listen. I'm running this kitchen. 68 00:05:17,245 --> 00:05:20,849 We're gonna have an assembly line. You, right there. Tallest to shortest. 69 00:05:20,982 --> 00:05:24,586 Fucking Monica. She can barely cook an egg. She didn't even make them lunches. 70 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,857 She's got them leaving late while that fat lesbian sits on her ass doing nothing. 71 00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:31,059 It's freezing. 72 00:05:31,226 --> 00:05:34,029 Go over and help out. 73 00:05:34,162 --> 00:05:36,131 -Fuck her. -She's driving you crazy. 74 00:05:36,264 --> 00:05:38,834 - I'm fine. - All right, then it's driving me crazy. 75 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:41,203 Believe me, I'll be back over there soon enough. 76 00:05:41,336 --> 00:05:43,138 You get any sleep last night? 77 00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:47,275 She left Carl at Oktoberfest until November. 78 00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:50,445 This is a woman who burned a hole in Liam's footie pajamas... 79 00:05:50,579 --> 00:05:53,014 ...when she fell asleep smoking while nursing. 80 00:05:53,148 --> 00:05:55,417 -She came back. -She's a flake. 81 00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,019 Okay? She never called, she never came by. 82 00:05:58,153 --> 00:06:01,456 She never sent those kids a fucking birthday card. 83 00:06:02,324 --> 00:06:04,526 I mean, it must have been hard when she left. 84 00:06:04,859 --> 00:06:07,062 -Destroyed the kids. -I meant you. 85 00:06:07,195 --> 00:06:09,598 Oh, heh, I wept tears of joy. 86 00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:11,166 We need a couch. 87 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,202 -You should talk to a lawyer. -Heh, right. 88 00:06:14,336 --> 00:06:17,038 I can't keep food on the table but I'm hiring a lawyer. 89 00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:19,507 Just to find out what Monica can and can't do. 90 00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:22,210 Here, you know what? I gotta get to work. 91 00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:24,913 -Hup! Catch. -Wha...? What's this? 92 00:06:25,046 --> 00:06:26,581 Your own cell phone. 93 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:31,086 -I don't want you buying me stuff. -It's what couples do. 94 00:06:31,453 --> 00:06:33,455 Get us a couch. 95 00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:40,161 Okay. Um... 96 00:06:42,564 --> 00:06:43,665 Okay. 97 00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:46,167 Everyone. 98 00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,506 We won't be here when you get home from school. 99 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,008 -Why? -What? 100 00:06:53,975 --> 00:06:57,345 -Fiona always tells us why. -None of your damn business why. 101 00:06:57,479 --> 00:07:00,215 -Bob. -Your mother told you to go, so go. 102 00:07:00,348 --> 00:07:02,317 - Out. - Go on, guys. I'll catch up. 103 00:07:03,551 --> 00:07:07,389 Bye. Bye. Bye. 104 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:15,363 I don't care what the fucking DNA test says... 105 00:07:15,497 --> 00:07:17,299 ...you're not taking Liam. 106 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,202 -We'll see about that. -Yeah, we will. 107 00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:24,673 We having a problem, Phillip? 108 00:07:25,006 --> 00:07:26,675 I don't know, Bob, let's see. 109 00:07:27,008 --> 00:07:29,678 You're camped out in my house, you're fucking my mother... 110 00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:33,448 ...and talking about stealing my brother, why would we have problem? 111 00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:36,051 -Boy, I will kick your... -Stop it. Hey. 112 00:07:36,318 --> 00:07:39,020 Congratulations, Mom, you always knew how to pick them. 113 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,488 Lip. 114 00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,727 Lip. 115 00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:47,629 Lip. 116 00:07:47,963 --> 00:07:50,065 Please stop. 117 00:07:50,298 --> 00:07:52,100 Please. 118 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,236 -We haven't had a chance to talk. -Don't worry about it. 119 00:07:55,403 --> 00:07:58,506 No, I do. I... 120 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,710 Oh, jeez. I don't know where to start. 121 00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:03,745 How to explain. 122 00:08:04,079 --> 00:08:06,147 I worry about you. 123 00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:10,051 I think about you all the time. 124 00:08:10,352 --> 00:08:12,253 I miss you. 125 00:08:12,587 --> 00:08:15,557 There's so much I wanna ask you. How's school? 126 00:08:18,626 --> 00:08:22,697 You were always so smart, my Lip. 127 00:08:24,165 --> 00:08:26,701 I know you can do anything. 128 00:08:27,035 --> 00:08:29,771 I'm so sorry I hurt you. 129 00:08:32,574 --> 00:08:34,542 Look at me. 130 00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:46,755 Next time you're thinking about dropping in, don't. 131 00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:50,025 You've fucked up our lives enough already. 132 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,569 Touched by an Angel marathon on Hallmark this weekend. 133 00:09:01,703 --> 00:09:03,238 Ooh, I always liked that one. 134 00:09:03,371 --> 00:09:05,607 Except the Irish lady. She's weird. 135 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,276 A Gunsmoke marathon on TBS too. 136 00:09:08,443 --> 00:09:10,045 Think we could get it painted? 137 00:09:11,446 --> 00:09:13,748 -The car. -Anything you want, princess. 138 00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:17,218 I am just so proud of you for deciding to go to the Purity Ball... 139 00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:20,488 ...and letting me protect you the way Jesus intended, huh? 140 00:09:20,622 --> 00:09:24,459 - Have fun at school, sweetie. - Bye, Mom. 141 00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:30,398 Frank, I made Belgian crepes with raspberries... 142 00:09:30,532 --> 00:09:33,401 -...and there's a little maple syrup. -I can't. I'm late. 143 00:09:33,535 --> 00:09:36,237 -Where you going? -I told you. I'm picking up Monica... 144 00:09:36,371 --> 00:09:40,141 ...going to the city clerk's office, signing the settlement, and getting the money. 145 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:43,645 -So Monica? -Yes, Monica. 146 00:09:43,778 --> 00:09:46,114 You want me to get the money, don't you? 147 00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:48,583 -Is that the only reason? -Yes. 148 00:09:48,716 --> 00:09:51,319 -Frank, are you coming home for dinner? -Absolutely. 149 00:09:51,453 --> 00:09:53,588 -Are you sure? -Yes. Yes. I'm late. 150 00:09:54,222 --> 00:09:55,790 I'm late. 151 00:10:17,378 --> 00:10:19,147 Fuck. 152 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,790 -Thank God we're leaving tomorrow. -I don't think I can. 153 00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:31,326 -Yes, you can. -These kids need me. 154 00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:33,828 -They're fine. -You didn't see Lip? 155 00:10:34,162 --> 00:10:37,432 -How broken-hearted he was? -Oh, honey, he'll get over it. 156 00:10:37,599 --> 00:10:39,901 We can't take Liam from his brothers and sisters. 157 00:10:40,235 --> 00:10:41,703 He's coming with us. 158 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,272 No, the universe is giving me a sign. 159 00:10:44,405 --> 00:10:47,308 An opportunity to be the mother I never could be. 160 00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,711 I always felt guilty about leaving those kids. 161 00:10:49,844 --> 00:10:53,815 I'm better now. I think I can handle it. 162 00:10:56,184 --> 00:10:57,685 Yeah. 163 00:10:58,887 --> 00:10:59,921 Look at me. 164 00:11:00,655 --> 00:11:02,824 Monica. Look... Uh-uh! 165 00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:05,660 Look at me. 166 00:11:06,327 --> 00:11:08,630 When we met, you were like a beaten dog. 167 00:11:08,763 --> 00:11:11,633 -Barely hanging on by a thread. -I am stronger now. 168 00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:15,937 But for how long if we stay here, baby? 169 00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,773 For how long? Hmm? 170 00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:25,246 We're getting the DNA results, then we're leaving with Liam. 171 00:11:28,249 --> 00:11:29,851 Oh, ho! 172 00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:32,854 I hope I'm not interrupting a pajama party, Moni. 173 00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:36,491 That's what you ladies do? Pillow fights and the like? 174 00:11:36,624 --> 00:11:39,294 You wish you had a dick as big as mine. 175 00:11:39,427 --> 00:11:42,931 I am a man of ample girth and length. 176 00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:44,432 Ask Moni. 177 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,602 If I seem unimpressive in my Wranglers... 178 00:11:47,769 --> 00:11:50,305 ...it's because I'm a grower, not a shower. 179 00:11:50,438 --> 00:11:54,509 But trust me, when it's time to show, I grow. 180 00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:57,478 Come on, Mrs. G, let's hit the road. 181 00:11:57,612 --> 00:11:59,681 Frankie's got some moola coming his way. 182 00:11:59,814 --> 00:12:01,683 Change of plans, Frankie. 183 00:12:03,651 --> 00:12:06,888 Monica's not signing those papers until you get Lip, Fiona and the kids... 184 00:12:07,221 --> 00:12:09,657 - ...on board with us taking Liam. - What? 185 00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:12,560 Monica needs to know that the kids aren't gonna hate her. 186 00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:15,697 -It's too late, they already hate her. -Don't push it, Frank. 187 00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:17,999 We could be asking for the spousal support... 188 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,668 ...and half the settlement money. 189 00:12:23,338 --> 00:12:24,739 Fine. 190 00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:29,510 -Where's Fiona? -Next door. She moved in with Steve. 191 00:12:30,511 --> 00:12:32,547 Who the fuck is Steve? 192 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:46,294 Oh, God. 193 00:12:56,404 --> 00:12:59,741 -That time of year again, Jasper? -Yeah, just like Christmas, Frank. 194 00:12:59,874 --> 00:13:02,310 -I know you've been naughty. -Stop following me. 195 00:13:02,443 --> 00:13:06,681 Got my camcorder right here. Just a matter of time before I catch you. 196 00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:08,750 Fuck off. 197 00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:22,563 How's Mickey doing? 198 00:13:22,697 --> 00:13:25,433 They still have him at the jail ward over at county. 199 00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:28,569 -You been over to visit him? -No. 200 00:13:28,936 --> 00:13:32,974 Those dyke guards pat you down like amateur gynecologists. 201 00:13:33,341 --> 00:13:35,076 How's Kash? 202 00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:38,713 Heh. Couple of the neighborhood watch ladies came by the store... 203 00:13:38,846 --> 00:13:41,349 ...offered to throw him a parade. 204 00:13:41,649 --> 00:13:42,917 Hmm. 205 00:13:43,051 --> 00:13:47,455 Kash had better move his family back to Baghdad before Mickey gets out. 206 00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:50,892 -He's from Evanston. -Won't be nearly far enough. 207 00:13:52,927 --> 00:13:55,697 - Mandy. - Lip. 208 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:58,733 That's a nice outfit. What is that, uh, pirate wench? 209 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,802 You like? 210 00:14:02,637 --> 00:14:06,474 -What's your, uh, third period? -Health. Why? 211 00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:08,609 Think we need to miss some school. 212 00:14:09,477 --> 00:14:10,545 See you. 213 00:14:18,686 --> 00:14:21,689 -Tony? -Somebody bought Mr. Harris' house? 214 00:14:21,823 --> 00:14:25,993 -Windows aren't boarded up anymore. -Yeah. Somebody did. 215 00:14:26,794 --> 00:14:28,629 Who? 216 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,598 Steve. 217 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:34,836 Yeah. 218 00:14:34,969 --> 00:14:37,405 Hope he can get the smell out. 219 00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:41,876 Harris was dead on the toilet a long time before we found him. 220 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,582 What was that about? 221 00:14:51,052 --> 00:14:52,487 Come on. 222 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:55,890 Shit. 223 00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:59,160 - Careful, careful, careful. Stop. Ow! - I got it. I got it. 224 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:03,531 - Okay. Girl power. And down, down. - Down, down, down. 225 00:15:03,664 --> 00:15:04,832 Oh, sorry. 226 00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:07,702 - Nice couch. - What the hell, Frank? 227 00:15:08,436 --> 00:15:10,738 -Steve needs new locks. -You broke in? 228 00:15:10,872 --> 00:15:13,608 -Living with the boyfriend. -What? 229 00:15:13,741 --> 00:15:17,178 She won't sign my settlement until you and the kids stop harassing her. 230 00:15:17,512 --> 00:15:19,147 We're not harassing her. 231 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,784 -The boy needs to be with his mother. -He is with his mother. 232 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:24,986 Till she decides to take off again. 233 00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:30,992 You obviously don't care. You've moved into this love nest. 234 00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:34,128 I didn't move. I'm staying here until your wife fucks up. 235 00:15:34,495 --> 00:15:36,531 What your mother and I decide to do... 236 00:15:36,664 --> 00:15:41,769 ...with our son Liam is our business, Fiona, not yours. 237 00:15:41,903 --> 00:15:44,505 I am getting that money. 238 00:15:56,617 --> 00:15:57,785 So? 239 00:15:57,919 --> 00:16:00,621 I think he might be serious. 240 00:16:03,157 --> 00:16:04,759 - Hey, Frank. - Fuck. 241 00:16:04,892 --> 00:16:05,927 Asshole. 242 00:16:07,128 --> 00:16:13,100 Yo, Frank. Sheila called and is making your favorite dinner. Pot roast. 243 00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:16,971 Sheila's making you pot roast? Aw, that's so sweet. 244 00:16:17,104 --> 00:16:21,075 And that Jasper guy was hanging around again asking questions about you. 245 00:16:21,209 --> 00:16:23,978 Wanted to know how you felt. If you were back to work. 246 00:16:24,111 --> 00:16:26,080 Fucking disability guy. 247 00:16:26,214 --> 00:16:30,084 He's outside right now. Been following me around all morning. 248 00:16:30,218 --> 00:16:32,487 I told him you were training for a marathon. 249 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:37,258 Every year that shit head tries to trip me up, stop my disability check. 250 00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:42,230 I finally get some luck and this douche with a video cam has to show up. 251 00:16:42,563 --> 00:16:45,833 - You don't have any luck, heh. - Hello? 252 00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:48,836 Settlement money. Thank you. 253 00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:52,940 If I can get Monica away from Rosey Grier long enough to sign the thing. 254 00:16:53,074 --> 00:16:55,743 Well, my guess, Bob won't let Monica out of her sight. 255 00:16:55,877 --> 00:16:58,145 She did look beautiful, though, didn't she? 256 00:16:58,279 --> 00:17:00,081 Really keeping herself up. 257 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:02,950 Uh-huh. 258 00:17:03,084 --> 00:17:06,087 Yeah, what about, uh, Sheila and the pot roast? 259 00:17:07,688 --> 00:17:11,092 She's like mouth herpes. The gift that keeps on giving. 260 00:17:11,225 --> 00:17:14,829 No, Monica is my soul mate. 261 00:17:14,996 --> 00:17:16,697 We just click. 262 00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:18,866 Two lesbians at home, the promise of cash. 263 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,168 Maybe your luck has changed, Frank. 264 00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:23,037 Nah! 265 00:17:25,006 --> 00:17:26,040 No. 266 00:17:26,173 --> 00:17:28,776 -What are we looking for? -Override parental rights. 267 00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:31,245 We thinking DCFS or attorneys? 268 00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:33,981 Attorneys. I should have done this when I turned 18. 269 00:17:34,115 --> 00:17:37,084 Frank was so broken after Monica left, he would have signed. 270 00:17:37,218 --> 00:17:40,087 Here's someone. Mark Rydell. 271 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,856 "He'll fight for you... 272 00:17:41,989 --> 00:17:44,792 -...when you can't fight for yourself." -Asian cowboy? Don't think so. 273 00:17:46,193 --> 00:17:49,096 Ooh. What about that lady that helped get Carl and Debbie back... 274 00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,632 ...when Frank locked them in that car at bingo? 275 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,134 Micha Davis. 276 00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:56,237 -Is this her? -It looks like she just shit in her pants. 277 00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:58,239 -Heh. -Keep looking. 278 00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:00,274 Ah... 279 00:18:00,608 --> 00:18:04,078 There's one. Christine Dowling. Attractive, professional. 280 00:18:04,211 --> 00:18:08,849 And it looks like she might actually have a law degree. Let's call her. 281 00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:11,919 Where'd you get the car? 282 00:18:12,086 --> 00:18:14,288 Borrowed it from Steve. 283 00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:16,724 I've been working with him a bit. 284 00:18:17,158 --> 00:18:18,693 Doing what? 285 00:18:21,262 --> 00:18:24,665 Uh, you better not let Fiona find out about it or she'll kill you. 286 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,033 And him. 287 00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:30,137 You doing okay? 288 00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:32,640 Lot going on. 289 00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:35,743 Yeah. It's weird having Monica back. 290 00:18:35,876 --> 00:18:38,946 Yeah. Yeah, that too. 291 00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:41,882 What, something else? 292 00:18:43,384 --> 00:18:45,786 It's kind of hard to explain. 293 00:18:46,654 --> 00:18:48,055 Try me. 294 00:18:48,956 --> 00:18:52,760 Mickey's gay and we're doing it. And Kash shot Mickey because of me. 295 00:18:52,893 --> 00:18:55,396 Mickey would rather go to juvie than admit he's gay. 296 00:18:55,730 --> 00:19:01,035 So I'm doing both Kash and Mickey. Well, not so much Kash lately. 297 00:19:01,168 --> 00:19:04,238 When Kash and me were hot and heavy, Linda found out about it... 298 00:19:04,372 --> 00:19:07,174 ...and is blackmailing Kash into have another kid. 299 00:19:07,308 --> 00:19:09,043 Holy shit. 300 00:19:09,176 --> 00:19:11,178 Yeah. 301 00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:14,015 Here they come. 302 00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:20,988 -I think I'm gonna go see him today. -Who, Kash? 303 00:19:21,122 --> 00:19:23,891 No, Mickey. He's in jail awaiting sentencing. 304 00:19:31,332 --> 00:19:34,335 I wanna know what I have to do to adopt my toddler brother... 305 00:19:34,669 --> 00:19:37,371 ...and possibly my other siblings, and raise them as my own. 306 00:19:37,705 --> 00:19:39,974 -Are both your parents still alive? -Yes. 307 00:19:40,107 --> 00:19:41,876 -Incompetent? -Very. 308 00:19:43,177 --> 00:19:46,747 Okay. Well, you're talking about vacating their parental rights... 309 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,083 ...and becoming legal guardian of how many? 310 00:19:49,216 --> 00:19:51,986 -Five. -Well, that's a lot of kids. 311 00:19:54,221 --> 00:19:56,691 Law's pretty strict regarding parental rights. 312 00:19:56,824 --> 00:19:59,326 You'd need to prove incompetence. Do you have a case? 313 00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:01,062 How much time do you have? 314 00:20:01,195 --> 00:20:03,931 -I have a folder. -You got a folder. Okay. 315 00:20:08,102 --> 00:20:10,438 -It looks like your mother... -Monica. 316 00:20:10,771 --> 00:20:12,740 Monica left a couple of years ago? 317 00:20:12,873 --> 00:20:14,275 Twenty-one-and-a-half months. 318 00:20:14,408 --> 00:20:16,444 -Is she back now? -Sort of. 319 00:20:17,211 --> 00:20:20,781 And your father, Frank Gallagher. Wow, he's a live one. 320 00:20:21,215 --> 00:20:22,750 Drinker? 321 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,323 Yeah. 322 00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:33,461 Uh, do you make federal poverty level wages for a family of six? 323 00:20:33,794 --> 00:20:34,829 How much is that? 324 00:20:35,229 --> 00:20:37,398 -Thirty grand a year or so. -Heh. Pfft! 325 00:20:40,901 --> 00:20:42,803 You don't earn enough to support them... 326 00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,873 ...and we'd have to prove your parents incompetent? 327 00:20:46,373 --> 00:20:48,042 I know it bites the big one... 328 00:20:48,175 --> 00:20:52,113 ...but the best case is county places your brothers and sisters in foster care... 329 00:20:52,246 --> 00:20:54,815 ...while you and your father fight over custody. 330 00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:58,753 - Mrs. Gallagher? - Yeah. 331 00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:01,122 -Thank you. -Yeah. 332 00:21:05,092 --> 00:21:06,961 He's Frank's. 333 00:21:08,529 --> 00:21:10,965 -What? -Frank's the father. 334 00:21:11,098 --> 00:21:13,234 How the fuck is this possible? 335 00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:16,137 I don't know. I thought I got pregnant when I did E... 336 00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:20,174 ...with that bouncer at the Zebra Lounge. I woke up naked. 337 00:21:21,142 --> 00:21:23,043 The law is still on our side. 338 00:21:23,177 --> 00:21:25,079 - What? - You're the mother. 339 00:21:25,212 --> 00:21:26,247 - Yeah. - Mm-hm. 340 00:21:26,380 --> 00:21:29,984 So we find Frank today, tell him we'll sign his settlement papers... 341 00:21:30,117 --> 00:21:33,154 ...in exchange for him signing over his parental rights. 342 00:21:33,554 --> 00:21:38,392 After that, there ain't a damn thing Fiona can do about it. Come on, Monica. 343 00:21:41,395 --> 00:21:43,831 Shit. He's not ruining my fucking family. 344 00:21:43,964 --> 00:21:49,036 I swear to God, he's not gonna take my son away from me. Fuck this shit. 345 00:21:49,904 --> 00:21:51,305 Wow. 346 00:21:52,106 --> 00:21:55,142 -They look unhappy. -Yeah. 347 00:22:01,415 --> 00:22:04,585 The two women who just left must not have been happy with the news they got. 348 00:22:04,919 --> 00:22:06,220 Oh, yeah, happens. 349 00:22:06,353 --> 00:22:09,523 Had a guy last month hang himself from a pipe in the men's room. 350 00:22:11,258 --> 00:22:12,560 So can I help you? 351 00:22:12,893 --> 00:22:17,031 Yeah, I think, uh, maybe you can. 352 00:23:07,014 --> 00:23:09,016 How long you gonna keep this up, Jasper? 353 00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:11,151 As long as it takes this time. 354 00:23:11,285 --> 00:23:15,589 Insurer is sick and tired of paying you. We know you're faking. 355 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:18,626 Gonna pay me a thousand bucks for proving it. 356 00:23:23,297 --> 00:23:25,065 Hey, Jasper. 357 00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:33,173 Monica? 358 00:23:34,642 --> 00:23:36,443 You here? 359 00:23:37,244 --> 00:23:41,915 I talked to Fiona. Everything's good. 360 00:23:42,383 --> 00:23:44,218 Monica? 361 00:23:49,590 --> 00:23:51,292 Bleh! 362 00:24:11,578 --> 00:24:13,580 Oh, shit. Unh. 363 00:24:19,219 --> 00:24:22,556 -Where's Fiona? -Doesn't live here anymore. 364 00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:25,359 -Monica? -Nope. 365 00:24:26,393 --> 00:24:29,163 I think I broke my arm. 366 00:24:29,296 --> 00:24:30,364 Uh-huh. 367 00:24:30,497 --> 00:24:32,266 It hurts a lot. 368 00:24:34,368 --> 00:24:36,270 Yeah. 369 00:24:38,639 --> 00:24:40,507 -That one? -Yeah. 370 00:24:41,709 --> 00:24:43,377 Ow! What the...? 371 00:24:43,744 --> 00:24:46,180 Go get your bike. 372 00:24:49,249 --> 00:24:51,552 -You sure you're ready for this? -Hell, yeah. 373 00:24:51,685 --> 00:24:55,122 I mean, just because Liam's Frank's doesn't mean the rest of us are. 374 00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:57,091 Yep. 375 00:24:57,224 --> 00:25:03,330 All right. It says here, all we have to do is... 376 00:25:03,464 --> 00:25:06,533 ...swab our own cheeks and send it back in. 377 00:25:06,667 --> 00:25:09,303 Yeah, and pay them 150 bucks each. 378 00:25:09,436 --> 00:25:12,072 On the off chance we're not related to Frank... 379 00:25:12,206 --> 00:25:14,608 ...tt's totally worth it. Open up. 380 00:25:17,511 --> 00:25:19,546 It's actually pretty cool. 381 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,183 There's a lot of shit we could figure out about ourselves in here. 382 00:25:23,317 --> 00:25:26,220 Yeah, like, uh, if we got the alcoholic gene from Frank. 383 00:25:26,387 --> 00:25:28,122 Yeah, or the dummy gene from Monica. 384 00:25:28,255 --> 00:25:31,258 Or, uh, if any of us is gonna turn out to be gay. 385 00:25:31,392 --> 00:25:32,693 -Nice. -Heh. 386 00:26:00,287 --> 00:26:02,055 Now. 387 00:26:07,761 --> 00:26:09,096 Carl. 388 00:26:09,229 --> 00:26:12,266 Carl. Carl. 389 00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:15,636 I think you broke his arm. 390 00:26:15,769 --> 00:26:18,405 - Oh, shit. - Can I go to the hospital now? 391 00:26:18,539 --> 00:26:20,407 Just give me a couple of more yells first. 392 00:26:20,541 --> 00:26:21,842 Ow! 393 00:26:22,176 --> 00:26:23,844 - Oh, my boy. - Ow! 394 00:26:25,612 --> 00:26:29,283 Oh, wow, that roast smells amazing. 395 00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:33,086 Don't get any ideas. It's not for you. 396 00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:35,656 Frank's not coming back. He's with his wife now. 397 00:26:35,789 --> 00:26:37,558 Mm. 398 00:26:37,691 --> 00:26:40,294 I know how disappointed you get when nobody's here... 399 00:26:40,427 --> 00:26:42,296 ...to eat your wonderful meals. 400 00:26:42,429 --> 00:26:44,298 Mom. 401 00:26:45,799 --> 00:26:48,235 - Where is my dress? - Ah! 402 00:26:48,502 --> 00:26:53,307 - That's perfect. It's so good. - Okay. Heh. 403 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,843 Ah! Perfect. 404 00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:58,412 Okay, let get this side. 405 00:27:02,549 --> 00:27:04,885 My goodness. 406 00:27:05,219 --> 00:27:07,721 You look stunning. 407 00:27:10,858 --> 00:27:13,494 I am so proud of you. 408 00:27:17,631 --> 00:27:19,199 All right, Eddie. 409 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:25,339 Why don't you join us for dinner before you both go to the Purity Ball? 410 00:27:25,772 --> 00:27:27,341 You're sure? 411 00:27:27,474 --> 00:27:31,278 I'll just save a plate for Frank. 412 00:27:31,712 --> 00:27:34,548 I don't know, man. That's what he was saying, though. 413 00:27:43,924 --> 00:27:46,426 Thanks for putting money in my commissary account. 414 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,195 I was running low on smokes. 415 00:27:48,362 --> 00:27:49,763 Not me. Kash. 416 00:27:50,430 --> 00:27:53,166 I told him you might still press charges. 417 00:27:54,468 --> 00:27:56,203 Thanks. 418 00:27:59,673 --> 00:28:01,308 How long? 419 00:28:02,276 --> 00:28:05,212 I don't know. Supposed to be a year, right? 420 00:28:05,345 --> 00:28:08,315 Maybe only a couple of months if I don't do anything stupid. 421 00:28:08,715 --> 00:28:09,783 Like what? 422 00:28:09,917 --> 00:28:12,953 Like stab that fat Mick who keeps trying to steal my Jell-O. 423 00:28:13,287 --> 00:28:14,721 - Who, me? - Yeah. 424 00:28:14,855 --> 00:28:16,356 Fuck you. 425 00:28:20,394 --> 00:28:22,195 I miss you. 426 00:28:22,963 --> 00:28:25,799 You say that again, I'll rip your tongue out of your head. 427 00:28:35,609 --> 00:28:37,878 -Take your hand off the glass. -Oh. 428 00:29:24,891 --> 00:29:27,894 -Evening, officer, is everything okay? -I don't know. Is it? 429 00:29:28,028 --> 00:29:31,031 -Oh, hey, Tony, how you doing? -Good. 430 00:29:33,934 --> 00:29:37,804 So did I do something wrong? Tail light out? Low tire? 431 00:29:37,938 --> 00:29:40,874 No, no, no. Uh, congratulations on the new house. 432 00:29:42,576 --> 00:29:44,044 Yeah. 433 00:29:44,378 --> 00:29:47,281 Yeah, yeah. Nice little fixer-upper in the neighborhood. 434 00:29:47,414 --> 00:29:50,050 Hear the neighbors can be loud, though. Lots of kids. 435 00:29:50,784 --> 00:29:52,886 -Fiona's a good girl. -The best. 436 00:29:53,020 --> 00:29:56,390 Known her since we were in Head Start. Long time, you know. 437 00:29:59,993 --> 00:30:04,464 Just drive carefully. You don't wanna get hurt down here. 438 00:30:15,309 --> 00:30:16,376 Mm, this is good. 439 00:30:16,510 --> 00:30:21,948 So I'm just curious about what happens at the Purity Ball tonight. 440 00:30:22,082 --> 00:30:24,584 Oh, it's a Christian event designed to strengthen the bond... 441 00:30:24,718 --> 00:30:26,386 ...between fathers and daughters. 442 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,790 We make a covenant, uh, of purity, like an oath. 443 00:30:29,923 --> 00:30:31,792 And then we exchange promise rings... 444 00:30:31,925 --> 00:30:36,096 ...and, uh, we do some chastity prayers. It's fun. 445 00:30:38,398 --> 00:30:39,766 Wow. 446 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:43,337 Do they have these, um, balls for young men? 447 00:30:43,470 --> 00:30:45,038 Why would they? 448 00:30:47,341 --> 00:30:48,442 Aw. 449 00:30:48,575 --> 00:30:50,677 Ready to smile? 450 00:30:50,811 --> 00:30:54,081 Aw. Oh, that's so nice. 451 00:30:55,615 --> 00:30:57,551 It's beautiful. One more. One more. 452 00:30:57,984 --> 00:31:01,455 -Okay. -One more. One more. It's so nice. 453 00:31:02,089 --> 00:31:04,624 -Oh, yeah. -Hey, you're back. 454 00:31:04,758 --> 00:31:08,695 Oh, hell, yeah. Showed that Jasper a thing or two. 455 00:31:08,829 --> 00:31:12,432 Bastard's going to be begging me not to sue him. 456 00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:16,403 Let us have a bottle of your good stuff. I've got some money coming. 457 00:31:16,536 --> 00:31:19,806 When you die, I'm gonna go to your funeral and sing a song. It goes: 458 00:31:19,940 --> 00:31:21,842 I got money comin' 459 00:31:21,975 --> 00:31:25,078 Oh, boy. Bet you wish you had that vasectomy by now, huh? 460 00:31:28,949 --> 00:31:31,718 Thought you'd wanna know Carl's all right. Reset his arm. 461 00:31:31,852 --> 00:31:34,855 Yeah, so please, stay on your barstool and just keep drinking. 462 00:31:35,021 --> 00:31:37,157 Hey, let's just do what we came here to do. 463 00:31:37,491 --> 00:31:41,128 If you're looking for money, I don't have any yet. 464 00:31:41,461 --> 00:31:43,864 Your mom still hasn't signed my settlement papers. 465 00:31:43,997 --> 00:31:47,567 -I don't know where she's been all day. -Getting Liam's DNA results. 466 00:31:47,701 --> 00:31:51,538 -Congratulations, you're still the father. -Are you serious? 467 00:31:51,671 --> 00:31:54,708 Ooh. I thought that was always a rumor... 468 00:31:54,841 --> 00:31:58,512 ...about Nana Gallagher having an affair with that sax player. 469 00:31:58,645 --> 00:32:01,548 Promise you won't sign anything forfeiting parental rights. 470 00:32:01,681 --> 00:32:05,652 Come on. You know what a bad mother Monica is. 471 00:32:05,786 --> 00:32:09,022 I'm letting her pretend she can have him so I can get my settlement. 472 00:32:09,156 --> 00:32:13,527 -What if she doesn't give up that easy? -No, no, no. This is a win-win situation. 473 00:32:13,660 --> 00:32:15,762 Even if she takes him for a little while... 474 00:32:15,896 --> 00:32:19,499 ...she'll be back, crying about her low self-esteem... 475 00:32:19,633 --> 00:32:22,702 ...or how boys actually need their fathers... 476 00:32:22,836 --> 00:32:24,671 ...or penis grief, heh. 477 00:32:25,105 --> 00:32:28,642 That's when you wake up and look at the person next of you and you say: 478 00:32:28,775 --> 00:32:30,844 "Somebody help me. I just fucked a lady." 479 00:32:30,977 --> 00:32:33,780 I've never asked you for anything. Ever. 480 00:32:33,914 --> 00:32:37,451 Oh, come on. Will you please give me some time with this? 481 00:32:37,584 --> 00:32:40,720 -I can do this. I just... Don't pressure me. -I've gotta walk away. 482 00:32:40,887 --> 00:32:43,190 -What? -If I don't I'm gonna fucking hit him. 483 00:32:45,225 --> 00:32:47,060 What the hell. 484 00:32:50,464 --> 00:32:51,998 Fuck. 485 00:32:57,871 --> 00:32:58,972 Debs? 486 00:33:01,041 --> 00:33:06,680 You do this, you are on your own and I'm not kidding. I'm done. I'm gone. 487 00:33:06,813 --> 00:33:11,751 Bullshit. You'll never leave those monkeys. You love them too much. 488 00:33:11,885 --> 00:33:13,653 Kids. 489 00:33:14,821 --> 00:33:20,227 Before we begin, let me just say how proud we are of your desire to re-purify. 490 00:33:20,594 --> 00:33:24,130 My daughters participated and now, although still single... 491 00:33:24,264 --> 00:33:27,868 ...are enjoying very spirit-filled lives. 492 00:33:28,702 --> 00:33:31,605 Patty, would you like to start? 493 00:33:33,573 --> 00:33:37,811 Last year, when I was singing madrigal, I started dating a boy in the choir. 494 00:33:37,978 --> 00:33:39,746 He said we were dating... 495 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:44,251 ...but we never met outside of our make-out sessions in the rehearsal hall. 496 00:33:44,584 --> 00:33:51,091 I repeatedly let him touch me, my breasts, through my shirt and bra. 497 00:33:51,258 --> 00:33:55,729 And once I felt his rod touch my leg. 498 00:33:55,862 --> 00:33:58,865 So embarrassing. I can't believe I let him do this. I'm sorry. 499 00:33:58,999 --> 00:34:01,301 Thank you. I want to thank you for your courage... 500 00:34:01,635 --> 00:34:03,670 ...to confront your struggles with desire. 501 00:34:04,571 --> 00:34:07,807 Who's next? Elaine? 502 00:34:10,610 --> 00:34:13,313 Hi. My name is Elaine... 503 00:34:14,214 --> 00:34:18,585 ...and I only touched one penis. 504 00:34:18,718 --> 00:34:20,554 Once. 505 00:34:20,687 --> 00:34:23,123 If I didn't, I was gonna get hit with a pipe. 506 00:34:23,256 --> 00:34:28,194 God, why did you let my daughter become a slave to the flesh? 507 00:34:28,328 --> 00:34:30,664 I was gonna get hit with a pipe. 508 00:34:35,035 --> 00:34:37,237 Uh, so the lawyer said there's nothing you can do? 509 00:34:37,571 --> 00:34:39,873 If we sue it could backfire, make things worse. 510 00:34:43,777 --> 00:34:46,346 Jesus. This place still smells like old man Harris. 511 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,082 -What did Monica want? -To come over for dinner. 512 00:34:49,215 --> 00:34:51,217 Some kind of a family meeting. 513 00:34:51,585 --> 00:34:53,753 Ha, ha, family? Fucking load of shit. 514 00:34:53,887 --> 00:34:56,222 - You told her we know Liam's Frank's? - Yeah. 515 00:34:59,059 --> 00:35:00,193 You have any pot? 516 00:35:00,327 --> 00:35:03,697 If I have to go see Mom conscious, I might commit a violent felony. 517 00:35:03,830 --> 00:35:06,933 That's the first time in a long time I've heard you call her Mom. 518 00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,868 I did? 519 00:35:09,836 --> 00:35:12,606 I don't know if I ever felt like she was my mom. 520 00:35:12,739 --> 00:35:14,608 Ian and I got our DNA test done. 521 00:35:16,042 --> 00:35:17,177 Why? 522 00:35:17,310 --> 00:35:19,946 Got excited at the idea of not being Frank's. 523 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,950 If none of us are his, you'd have an easier time becoming our legal guardian. 524 00:35:24,084 --> 00:35:27,087 Lip's gonna pick up the results in about an hour. 525 00:35:27,253 --> 00:35:30,924 Well, here's to you not being Frank's. 526 00:35:36,296 --> 00:35:39,132 My actions have been unlady-like and base in nature... 527 00:35:39,265 --> 00:35:42,702 ...and for that I'm truly sorry. 528 00:35:42,902 --> 00:35:44,037 Karen. 529 00:35:45,338 --> 00:35:47,807 In order for you to receive the gift of purity... 530 00:35:47,941 --> 00:35:50,343 ...you need to be as honest as you can. 531 00:35:52,746 --> 00:35:56,349 It's okay, sweetheart. Just tell what happened. 532 00:35:57,250 --> 00:35:58,885 Um... 533 00:35:59,019 --> 00:36:00,987 Well, okay, heh. 534 00:36:01,421 --> 00:36:04,658 I started having oral sex at a very young age. 535 00:36:04,791 --> 00:36:07,994 Maybe 13. It was guys around the neighborhood. 536 00:36:08,128 --> 00:36:13,133 Three or four at first and then, well, more than three or four. 537 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,803 I didn't have intercourse until the 8th grade. 538 00:36:16,936 --> 00:36:21,374 I didn't like it at first but then around the 6th time it started to feel good. 539 00:36:21,708 --> 00:36:22,876 Really good. 540 00:36:23,009 --> 00:36:25,045 But I didn't feel good about it. Um... 541 00:36:25,178 --> 00:36:28,314 There was a few times where I got high... 542 00:36:29,115 --> 00:36:34,154 ...and started experimenting with guys and girls at the same time. 543 00:36:34,287 --> 00:36:36,322 I wouldn't necessarily call it an orgy... 544 00:36:36,456 --> 00:36:39,359 ...but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around... 545 00:36:39,693 --> 00:36:44,330 ...which felt very good but kind of bad all at the same time. 546 00:36:44,698 --> 00:36:47,100 Then there was the time at Mindy Carlson's sleepover... 547 00:36:47,233 --> 00:36:50,870 ...when we all got in the shower and started soaping each other up. 548 00:36:51,004 --> 00:36:53,907 Her mom walked in and freaked out when she saw Mindy... 549 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,909 ...with a big, black, strap-on dildo. 550 00:36:56,042 --> 00:36:57,711 You whore! 551 00:36:58,244 --> 00:37:01,347 Whores don't get cars. 552 00:37:02,015 --> 00:37:05,218 Okay. There. 553 00:37:05,351 --> 00:37:07,921 I hope everybody's hungry. 554 00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:14,027 There you go, Ian. It's your favorite. 555 00:37:14,461 --> 00:37:16,796 -What is it? -Lasagna. 556 00:37:17,263 --> 00:37:20,834 Carl, could you start passing the salad? Please? 557 00:37:20,967 --> 00:37:24,504 Monica's Liam's mother and I know you won't be happy, but... 558 00:37:24,838 --> 00:37:29,809 Jesus, Bob, can we just enjoy our dinner and then talk after? 559 00:37:29,943 --> 00:37:33,213 -Talk about what? -Debbie, please. 560 00:37:33,346 --> 00:37:35,982 -Where's Lip? -Had something to do. 561 00:37:36,116 --> 00:37:40,286 -He's not coming? -Sorry I'm late. Did I miss the chow? 562 00:37:40,887 --> 00:37:41,955 Ooh, ooh! 563 00:37:42,088 --> 00:37:43,356 Looks good. 564 00:37:43,490 --> 00:37:47,994 If you called us here to tell us you're taking Liam, we don't wanna hear it. 565 00:37:48,128 --> 00:37:53,233 Fiona, you're upset. I get it. I was married to Frank for 18 years. 566 00:37:53,366 --> 00:37:56,436 I know. It's like swallowing broken glass every day. 567 00:37:56,770 --> 00:37:57,937 Hey. 568 00:37:59,506 --> 00:38:02,809 Oh, Lip, wonderful. We just started. 569 00:38:03,810 --> 00:38:06,045 Your mother said 6:30. You lose your watch? 570 00:38:06,212 --> 00:38:07,347 Don't have a watch, Bob. 571 00:38:08,047 --> 00:38:09,415 What's the news? 572 00:38:09,549 --> 00:38:12,285 Haven't opened it yet. Figured we should do it together. 573 00:38:12,418 --> 00:38:13,486 Thanks. 574 00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:17,857 Me and Ian have decided to get our DNA tests done too... 575 00:38:18,291 --> 00:38:21,027 ...on the off chance that maybe we aren't Frank's kids. 576 00:38:21,161 --> 00:38:22,195 What? 577 00:38:22,328 --> 00:38:26,332 Yeah. We figured why should you and Bob get to have all the fun? 578 00:38:29,335 --> 00:38:31,104 Holy shit. 579 00:38:32,272 --> 00:38:35,074 Congratulations, Ian. 580 00:38:36,176 --> 00:38:39,012 You are not Frank Gallagher's son. 581 00:38:52,425 --> 00:38:53,459 Fuck. Ugh. 582 00:38:53,593 --> 00:38:56,262 Karen? Sweetie. 583 00:38:56,396 --> 00:38:58,231 Honey? 584 00:38:58,832 --> 00:39:01,968 Honey, you're back from the ball so soon? 585 00:39:03,369 --> 00:39:05,071 Honey? 586 00:39:06,472 --> 00:39:08,374 Karen? 587 00:39:09,876 --> 00:39:12,278 He promised me the fucking car. 588 00:39:12,412 --> 00:39:15,348 Karen, honey, what's going on? 589 00:39:15,481 --> 00:39:17,116 I'm so proud of you. 590 00:39:18,251 --> 00:39:20,386 You remind me of my first communion. 591 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,155 He humiliated me. 592 00:39:23,022 --> 00:39:24,490 He made me think he loved me. 593 00:39:35,602 --> 00:39:40,139 Oh, honey, what happened? Baby, what happened? 594 00:39:40,874 --> 00:39:44,510 Honestly, sweetie, I don't know. 595 00:39:44,644 --> 00:39:49,482 There was that week in the summer of '95 that I did a lot of PCP. 596 00:39:49,616 --> 00:39:53,887 You did PCP? Without me? 597 00:39:54,020 --> 00:39:56,289 You promised we would do that together. 598 00:39:56,422 --> 00:39:58,992 Excuse me, can we get back to who Ian's father is? 599 00:39:59,125 --> 00:40:01,427 Uh, uh, I like the idea of Monica cheating on Frank. 600 00:40:01,561 --> 00:40:04,230 It really keeps my image of you right on track, Mom. 601 00:40:04,364 --> 00:40:09,035 Will somebody please tell me what we're talking about? 602 00:40:09,168 --> 00:40:13,640 All right. The results say that you, Frank, are absolutely not my father. 603 00:40:13,973 --> 00:40:17,377 But my father is a close relative. Most likely one of your brothers. 604 00:40:17,977 --> 00:40:19,646 -Dad has brothers? -He has two, right? 605 00:40:19,979 --> 00:40:21,014 Three. 606 00:40:21,147 --> 00:40:25,051 I think I met the one that sells smoked sausage and razor blades... 607 00:40:25,218 --> 00:40:28,087 -...out of the trunk of his car. -All right. 608 00:40:29,155 --> 00:40:31,591 I honestly don't know. 609 00:40:33,493 --> 00:40:36,162 -Are we still related? -Of course you are. 610 00:40:36,296 --> 00:40:41,200 Not only did you lie to me about the PCP, you fucked my brother? 611 00:40:41,334 --> 00:40:46,005 What's next? You gonna take up with a black lady-man? 612 00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:50,176 Oh, I forgot. That's already happened. 613 00:40:50,310 --> 00:40:53,012 How can we get back together now? 614 00:40:53,146 --> 00:40:57,984 I have never, ever had any intention of getting back together with you, Frank. 615 00:40:58,117 --> 00:41:01,321 You only tricked me into coming here to get some settlement money. 616 00:41:01,454 --> 00:41:03,456 I wanted to see you again. 617 00:41:03,589 --> 00:41:06,426 So you pretended that she won a teddy bear? 618 00:41:06,559 --> 00:41:10,630 -You know how much I love teddy bears. -You and Monica are over, Frank. 619 00:41:10,964 --> 00:41:15,368 -Me and Monica are getting married. -She's still married to me. 620 00:41:15,535 --> 00:41:17,603 Not for long. She's getting a divorce. 621 00:41:17,737 --> 00:41:19,339 You two are still married? 622 00:41:19,472 --> 00:41:23,009 -How can two ladies get married? -They're lesbians. 623 00:41:23,142 --> 00:41:25,979 Penetration isn't required for sex to occur. 624 00:41:27,981 --> 00:41:31,117 -What? It's legal now in several states. -Divorce, Frank. 625 00:41:31,250 --> 00:41:33,720 -You owe her that much. -What about what she owes me? 626 00:41:34,053 --> 00:41:37,056 She gonna leave me again with six kids? 627 00:41:37,190 --> 00:41:39,058 Leave me to deal with all the shit? 628 00:41:39,192 --> 00:41:41,160 You mean leave me to deal with the shit. 629 00:41:41,294 --> 00:41:43,629 I didn't leave you. You drove me out. 630 00:41:43,763 --> 00:41:48,301 No self-respecting person could stay with you. You treated me like a dog. 631 00:41:48,735 --> 00:41:50,269 - Hey. - Hey. 632 00:41:50,703 --> 00:41:52,638 You need to let us raise Liam. 633 00:41:52,772 --> 00:41:56,175 I don't care what the tests results say, Liam belongs with us. 634 00:41:56,309 --> 00:42:00,146 -Nobody's taking Liam. -I can't believe you want a divorce. 635 00:42:00,279 --> 00:42:02,348 What? 636 00:42:02,482 --> 00:42:05,785 Me and Bob deserve a family of our own. 637 00:42:06,119 --> 00:42:11,524 -You had a family. You left it. -I didn't leave you. He drove me out. 638 00:42:11,691 --> 00:42:14,761 -You should have protected us. -I tried but I couldn't. 639 00:42:15,094 --> 00:42:18,464 Fiona, if I didn't leave, I would have died. 640 00:42:18,598 --> 00:42:21,300 Oh, cut the shit, Myrna Loy. 641 00:42:21,434 --> 00:42:25,438 You have no idea what it was like being married to him. 642 00:42:25,571 --> 00:42:27,774 You have no idea how bad it is. 643 00:42:28,107 --> 00:42:30,376 -Yeah? Try me. -Oh, come on, now. 644 00:42:30,510 --> 00:42:34,514 Okay. I know that he tortured you. 645 00:42:34,647 --> 00:42:37,150 I know that he ruined you. 646 00:42:37,316 --> 00:42:39,419 But we didn't marry him, Mom. 647 00:42:39,585 --> 00:42:41,154 You did. 648 00:42:41,287 --> 00:42:45,491 If you love us, any of us, in any way... 649 00:42:45,625 --> 00:42:52,298 ...you'll leave Liam, take your girlfriend, get in your truck and never come back. 650 00:42:55,134 --> 00:42:56,369 But... 651 00:43:10,616 --> 00:43:12,251 I... 652 00:43:13,286 --> 00:43:15,655 I love you. 653 00:43:16,189 --> 00:43:17,857 I do. 654 00:43:22,128 --> 00:43:23,729 Jesus. 655 00:43:29,735 --> 00:43:31,237 What's the matter with you? 656 00:43:31,370 --> 00:43:34,107 Did she tell you? Did she tell you what she said? 657 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,343 You called our daughter a whore. 658 00:43:37,510 --> 00:43:39,512 How about what she did to me? 659 00:43:40,446 --> 00:43:43,449 -Just get out. Out. -What? 660 00:43:43,583 --> 00:43:45,284 Just get out. 661 00:43:45,451 --> 00:43:48,654 -Get out! Get out! -Did she mention what she did to me? 662 00:43:48,788 --> 00:43:54,227 She's a human being. She deserves love, not hate. 663 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,529 You weren't there. I knew all those people. 664 00:43:56,662 --> 00:44:00,466 -Don't ever come back. Don't come back! -She just kept going on and on. 665 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,369 Go! Get out! 666 00:44:03,503 --> 00:44:05,705 Don't ever come back. 667 00:44:07,707 --> 00:44:09,809 Forever! 668 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:20,319 Frank. Frank, did you see what Eddie did to my Karen? 669 00:44:20,453 --> 00:44:22,788 You're out of the house. 670 00:44:23,523 --> 00:44:25,158 What? 671 00:44:25,625 --> 00:44:27,827 You're out of the house. 672 00:44:29,929 --> 00:44:31,564 I... 673 00:44:31,831 --> 00:44:36,202 I got so mad I came out of the house. 674 00:44:38,171 --> 00:44:40,706 I'm out of the house! 675 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,842 I'm out of the house! 676 00:44:43,176 --> 00:44:46,779 Frank, look at me. Hello. 677 00:44:51,684 --> 00:44:54,620 -What are they doing? -Looks like packing. 678 00:44:54,754 --> 00:44:56,455 What about Liam? 679 00:44:58,858 --> 00:45:01,494 I can't tell through the window. 680 00:45:01,661 --> 00:45:04,697 We could call the police, tell them Liam's being kidnapped. 681 00:45:04,864 --> 00:45:09,368 Hey, we're gonna figure this shit out, okay? No matter what. 682 00:45:09,502 --> 00:45:11,704 Hey, guys, they're coming out. 683 00:46:27,780 --> 00:46:29,382 Mom? 684 00:47:20,399 --> 00:47:22,768 And Mrs. Gallagher. 685 00:47:28,741 --> 00:47:30,876 How do you pronounce your first name? 686 00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:32,411 Monica. 687 00:47:33,612 --> 00:47:34,647 Monka. Monka! 688 00:47:34,780 --> 00:47:36,015 -Monica. -Monka. 689 00:47:37,016 --> 00:47:38,651 - Hal. - Mm-hm. 690 00:47:38,818 --> 00:47:39,919 Out. 691 00:47:40,086 --> 00:47:43,456 No. Wait, wait, wait. You can't do that. That's my money. 692 00:47:43,589 --> 00:47:45,858 That is... Wait a second. That's my money. 693 00:47:45,991 --> 00:47:49,695 My money. I blow you for nothing. 694 00:47:50,663 --> 00:47:51,764 Next.